What Andy Rooney doesn’t like

This will test your convictions. It was presented by the late Andy┬áRooney, an 82-year-old commentator on “60 Minutes.”

I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and
big campfires.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not
some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to
give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a
killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car,
but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that
is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not
a phobia, it is an opinion.

I don’t think being a minority makes you a victim of
anything except numbers. The only things I can think of
that are truly discriminatory are things like the United
Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment
Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like
the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White
Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see
what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your

I have the right “NOT” to be tolerant of others because
they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in
cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not
racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of
it. If I received sex from one of my subordinates in my
office, it wouldn’t be a private matter or my personal
business. I would be “FIRED” immediately!

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack
of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it
in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an
American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn’t die in vain so you can
leave the countries you were born in to come over and
disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right
to shoot your sorry self if you threaten them after they
tell you to stop. If you can’t understand the word “freeze”
or “stop” in English, see the above lines.

I feel much safer letting a machine with no political
affiliation recount votes when needed. I know what the
definition of lying is.

I don’t think just because you were not born in this
country, you are qualified for any special loan programs,
government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you
can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and
risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that
decades later they could come over here and tell us our
constitution is a living document; and open to their

I don’t hate the rich. I don’t pity the poor. I know pro
wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That
doesn’t stop you from watching them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a
cause is more dangerous than a Hell’s Angel with an

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he
made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and
invent the next operating system that’s better, and put
your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the
Internet to help you.

It doesn’t take a whole village to raise a child right, but
it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack
their little behinds when necessary, and say “NO!”

“I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them,
but please don’t pretend they are a political statement.
And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I
don’t want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve
me French fries!

I am sick of “Political Correctness.” I know a lot of black
people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so
how can they be “African-Americans”? Besides, Africa is a
continent. I don’t go around saying I am a
European-American because my great, great, great, great,
great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be
from America and nowhere else.

And if you don’t like my point of view, tough. DON’T PASS